i wanna be rich enough to eat out every night
it’s simple just become a lesbian
we need some new and more powerful swears
Apparently everybody could use a little penis in their lives.
my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
O h my fuciing god